Why Iron Man III Is Going To Suck

Over the past several years, I've noted a recurring theme in Marvel superhero movies. The first one is good, the second one amazing, and the the third one, well . . . OK, "sucks" is too strong a word, but neither X3 nor Spiderman III were, in my opinion, nearly as good as their predecessors.

Naturally, since Iron Man 2 was an all-around excellent movie, if the pattern holds true the hypothetical third one is going to be a real letdown. Of course, the pattern isn't completely accurate - take the Fantastic Four films (please!) - and we may luck out in that Iron Man 3 is actually going to be the much hinted Avengers film (which will, of course, also be Captain America 2, Thor 2, and Hulk . . . 2.5?).

**Spoilers Follow!**

But all this hypothesizing doesn't detract from the fact that Iron Man 2 is, in fact, a very good movie. It flows very naturally from the first one (in fact begining pretty much simultaneously with the famous "I am Iron Man" ending), raising the stakes and introducing new characters in a very satisfying way. In fact, one of my biggest quibbles with the movie is that there were so many interesting new characters, there wasn't enough time to fully develop some of them. So, how 'bout that "Nick Fury & The Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D." film, Marvel?

In many ways, Iron Man 2 takes everything that was good about its predecessor and amplifies it. After all, Tony is slowly being poisoned by his arc reactor during the first half (and the movie does a great job of subtly portraying him giving up and preparing for, if not actively seeking, his death), while the second half pours on the pressure begun earlier concerning prospective competitors with equally advanced equiptment, but lacking Tony's charm and sense of decency.

That's not, of course, to say that the movie turns into an angst-fest. Although the serious bits are treated with all due weight (and, perhaps, some of the stuff between Tony and his father could have been toned down or trimmed . . . then again, it does set up the resolution of the Palladium Poisoning subplot), Iron Man 2 is not The Dark Knight. It's still fundamentally a fun movie, with Tony reveling in being Iron Man, whether by acting the lush at what he thinks is his last birthday party or, once cured, finally teaming up with his best friend to take care of that "Hammer-oid Problem" (and people say this movie doesn't have the humor of the first!). One really gets the point (helped along by the use of classic rock songs for the soundtrack, in contrast to the typical epic symphonies employed by every other cinematic superhero) that Tony enjoys being Iron Man, and so the audience enjoys watching him. Of course, Tony Stark is pretty fun to watch even when he's not in the armor - if I can compare him to his DC counterpart again, there's no Bruce Wayne/Batman separation here. "I am Iron Man - the suit and I are one". Indeed, Tony, and if anyone can break the "three strikes" pattern, it's you. For my part, I for one can't wait to see it happen.

Lincoln: Statesman & Slayer

Anyone vaguely aware of literary happenings last spring probably noted the arrival of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the Jane Austin/Zombie Horror mashup written by Seth Grahame-Smith. Although the book itself was pretty unspectacular - the tone swung wildly between the
"Pride and Prejudice" and the "Zombies", and was more than a bit jarring - there was apparently a waiting market for odd genre mashups. Over the next year, a great many other novels with a similar theme were released, some by the same company, some not (and a couple missing the point entirely - the violent clash between the mundane and the fantastic is what sells the idea, and War of the Worlds with zombies just doesn't have that same resonance).

Despite this flood of imitators,when the announcement of an official prequel (the deliciously named Dawn of the Dreadfuls) arrived, Seth Grahame-Smith was not involved. Eventually, it became clear why. (Possible spoiler warnings to follow)

Although not quite the first to replace "Historical Fiction" with "Historical Figure", Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a very respectable sophomore effort on Grahame-Smith's part. The overall tone is very much that of a respectable work of history, even while describing Honest Abe decapitating the undead with the same ease with which he split fence rails. This is partially achieved by presenting many of the action sequences as excerpts from Lincoln's journal. The interlacing of historic fact (for example, the heartbreaking number of Lincoln's loved ones who died throughout his life) with vampiric conspiracy is also skillfully done, in a technical sense at least.

Questions inevitably rise as to the appropriateness of using real people and events in this sort of work, and there are two specific cases here that must be dealt with. Lincoln's family life is mostly glossed over, though all due attention is given to Lincoln's grief when his loved ones die (the cause of these usually being implied to be murder by vampires instead of the various actual diseases that they fell prey to is remarkably non-exploitative).

The issue of slavery & the Civil War, however, is much more central to the storyline. Grahame-Smith casts Lincoln as being the key opponent of a group of vampires plotting to take over the United States, using the "peculiar institution" both as an easy source of nourishment and to pave the way for their eventual takeover. This has the effect of demonizing the main faces of the Confederacy, namely Jefferson Davis and John Wilkes Booth (the latter literally), as well as possibly misrepresenting Lincoln's own views on slavery. While it is still not quite clear how much of his writings on the subject came from personal belief and how much from political necessity, Grahame-Smith leans heavily towards the latter. At least he doesn't fall into the trap of equating the vampires with the south exclusively - one memorable scene has Lincoln accusing General McClellan of being one of the undead, and New York (of course*) seems to be a major center of activity for the creatures.

Still, I thought the whole subject was handled with as much tact as was possible, though this is of course a highly subjective analysis. On the whole, the book itself is quite worth reading - I even learned a couple things about the historical Lincoln I wasn't previously aware of (such as the Baltimore Plot) - though I really did not particularly care for the post-assassination epilogue, for a number of reasons (The mental image of Vampire Lincoln attending Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech in his own memorial is not one of them, however). Probably the book is strongest in the beginning, when young Abe is the scourge of vampires all over the frontier.

Final Note: As seems to be the case with many popular books, there appears to be a film version of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in the works. And who currently seems to be in charge of the project? Tim Burton. Really, could it have been anyone else?


*Warning: TvTropes link. Do not use if you have less than two free hours. Void where prohibited.

Reawakening

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? For those just joining us, long ago, I let this blog (then called The Media Connoisseur) languish. There are, I suspect, many reasons for this - such as lack of time, distractions, and the inability to spell "connoisseur" the same way twice.

But I'm back now, and hopefully with a new name and a new look will come new motivation. While I'll still most likely be found discussing books and films, I may from time to time branch out to essentially anything I find interesting. So, then, I suppose it's time to get started . . .

Bonds Have More Fun

The movie was, of course, several months ago, but I thought it would be a fitting tribute to have my first post of 2007 to be for the latest James Bond film, Casino Royale.

*** Spoiler Warning ***

Now, I haven’t seen every Bond film made, so I can’t legitimately claim that this is the best Bond movie ever. I can, however, say that is definitely in the running. The stunts and special effects, while excellent, don’t overshadow the plot, which is also well done.

In fact, one could say that there are two plots in the film. The first is the actual story, concerning Bond’s assignment to bankrupt a terrorist banker. It actually struck me as rather implausible, considering the amount of money that was essentially being gambled on Bond’s poker ability. Suspend your disbelief at that, though, and the plot flows reasonably well.

The other plot, a kind of story-within-the-story, shows Bond maturing from being a double-oh-rookie (The first scenes of the movie include his 007 badge being stamped) to the suave spy we all love from the earlier films. This is shown in sequences as brief as Bond’s flippant conversation with a bartender (“Vodka Martini.” “ Shaken or stirred?” “Do I look like I give a damn?”) to his post-victory willingness to retire from his new position and settle down. He doesn’t of course, and by the end of the film he’s hunting down the man responsible for driving his love to suicide, and uttering those legendary words – “Bond. James Bond.” – that made him famous.

A word on the stunts: The opening stunt sequence, with Bond chasing Sebastian Foucan’s character through the construction site? Wow. Just wow. And the best part is, that was all authentic - no special effects.

Back & Silvered

Yes, perhaps it was hypocritical of me to criticize The Steampunk Librarian for not updating, and then disappear for three months. Rest assured, however, that I have not been idle during my absence.

In addition to dealing with that nagging thing called real life, I recently came across the most interesting book. Its title is Silverlock, and it was written by John Myers Myers in 1949.

The story concerns a man named Shandon, or Silverlock (after a stripe of prematurely aged hair), who is shipwrecked and washes up upon an island, which is called the Commonwealth of Letters - a name that originates in a French play from the 1660's - and seems to be the home of every fictional or legendary character ever invented.

After washing up onshore, Silverlock sets off on a threestage journey through this literary wonderland, sometimes accompanied by a character who seems to be the personification of the Storyteller - he goes by the name of Golias - and, eventually, arrives at the Hippocrene fountain; where he takes two of the three necessary drinks for poetic inspiration. Along the way, he meets Beowulf, Robin Hood, and Don Quixote, tours hell with the slippery "Faustopheles", takes tea with the Mad Hatter and his two friends in rodent suits, and even hears "The Ballad of Bowie Gizzardbane" - The tale of the Battle of the Alamo set to an Anglo-Saxon epic meter - and scores of other literary characters famous, obscure, and amalgamated.

In addition to the delightful game of identifying the literary allusions, the main thrust of the book is Shandon's transformation from a literarily ignorant cynic to one more appreciative of the stories and songs the Commonwealth is made up of - even if he never quite recognizes any of them.

The book is a fun read, especially if you can get an edition that includes the Silverlock Companion, a Nevinsesque attempt to trace every literary allusion in the book. Unfortunately, it's a bit hard to find, but well worth it.

(The Media Connoisseur will return in 2007 with, "Bonds Have More Fun.")

Blog Quartet

One of the most quickly growing forms of media in the past few years is the blog. For that reason, it is peculiarly appropriate to review several blogs in a media review blog, like this one.

First off is The Brothers Brick. Many people played with LEGO bricks, or something similar, in their youth. Some of us never stopped. Contributors Andrew ("Dunechaser") and Josh keep readers informed of some of the coolest LEGO creations to be released onto the internet. Of special interest to me are the Steampunk ones, of which they post a great number.

Steampunk is also the theme of The Steampunk Librarian, who thoughtfully provides a number of links to places the steampunk enthusiast would enjoy. (I found the Port-O-Rotary especially entertaining.) Sadly, the author updates only sporadically, and the last post was made last March.

Speaking of historical anachronism, Geoffery Chaucer Hath a Blog is - how to explain it? It's a blog, written in Middle English (making it a challenge to read) under the persona of 14th century poet Geoffery Chaucer, presenting a medieval take on today's popular culture. Be sure to check out his take on Chuck Norris "facts".

Bringing this post full circle is Vignette Bricks, another LEGO fan blog, this one focusing one particular style of building - the small scene known as the "vignette". The author, Bruce, has even highlighted my own (extremely) modest attempts at the genre. That, alone, ensures a good report. ;)

All kidding aside, the blogs above have all given me great pleasure to peruse in the past, and I assume that they will in the future, as well.

(Except maybe The Steampunk Librarian.)

Secret Purposes

***Spoiler Warning***
Lady in the Water, the latest film by M. Night Shyamalan, has not exactly been what one would call a summer blockbuster. Then again, it isn’t the typical summer blockbuster-style of film, either.
The film chronicles the visitation to a modern day apartment building of a “narf” – a sea-dwelling nymph – named Story and the struggles of the tenants of the building, lead by the manager, Cleveland, to return her to her own land. They must accomplish this before she is killed by the local “scrunt”, which is a wolf-like animal with a grassy hide that allows it to disappear from sight by pretending to be a lump in the lawn. Their main source of information is a tenant who heard the story of the Narfs as a bedtime story in Korea. With the scrunt prowling about the buildings lawn and hallways, they race to unearth the role that each person must play to get Story back to the “Blue World” from whence she came.
All this sounds rather corny, and while I must say that the plot is much better than the above summary makes it sound, it may not be the sort of thing that would appeal to everybody. There are, however, some interesting themes to be found within.
The more prominent of these is that of finding ones purpose and meaning in life. The entire subplot of Cleveland attempting to match the tenants in his building to the supporting characters in the bedtime tale – the Guardian, the Healer, the Guild, and the Interpreter – is an example of this, as is Story’s purpose in coming to the building, the inspiration of the struggling writer whose work – and, eventually, whose death – will be the origin of great social change. Even the tenants who are not ultimately part of the fairy-tale roster are still important to the solution, and one is reminded of another Shyamalan work telling us that there are no coincidences, not even in where one rents an apartment.
Another recurring theme in the film explores the entwined nature of reality and fiction. After all, water-nymphs and wolves with mystical powers are creatures of fantasy, represented by the bedtime tale, but they intrude upon the contemporary world of a Philadelphia apartment building (even if none of the tenants find them particularly unbelievable). Cleveland’s interactions with the unnamed Critic underscore this thought, as they attempt to locate the Interpreter, et. al. in the building by applying his experience in seeing the introductions of movie characters. Since the “real” people they are attempting to find in this manner are in fact characters in a movie themselves, this adds an extra twist of irony into the situation.
While contemporary fantasy and literary philosophy may not be what the typical theatergoer looks for in a film, but if they intrigue you then Lady in the Water is worth looking into.

iShamrock

Fans of Celtic music may or may not be aware of NPR's weekly radio show The Thistle and Shamrock, and those who have, may not have heard of the new Thistlepod podcast program. There have been three episodes so far, starting June 19th, and have come out every two weeks since. They are, for those who are fans of the show or of Celtic music generally, quite good, although the short length (7 1/2 minutes on average) means that clips are all you get of the songs. You can subscribe to Thistlepod here.

The Rum is Far From Gone

***Spoiler Warning***
When I first saw the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, my initial reaction was, “I’m scared for this movie”. Those first glimpses of Davy Jones’ crew made me worry that the supernatural elements of the story, kept fairly reasonable in the first movie, would in the second descend into silliness.
Thankfully, the filmmakers managed – somehow – to avoid that fate, and have delivered a fun and terrific movie, albeit not one that greatly exceeds The Curse of the Black Pearl, as some have claimed. Indeed, no matter how cool Jack’s coffin-paddling opening was, nothing the writers do will ever overtake his original entrance, serenely sailing into Port Royal on a rapidly sinking sailboat.
Still, the movie is a worthy sequel to the first. The plot centers on the Chest of the title, which belongs to Davy Jones and contains his heart. The various factions in the movie – including Jack, Will, the now ex-Commodore Norrington, Jones, and new villain and East India Co. man Lord Beckett – all want to get it for various reasons. By the end of the film all seems lost, for Beckett has the heart, the Black Pearl is wrecked, and Jack eaten, by Jones’ Kraken. But all is not lost, for the strange and mystical Tia Dalma, whom Jack has had dealings with in the past, informs the surviving crew that he can be saved by sailing to “the end of the world” – and provides them with a captain to take them there, who turns out to be none other than Captain Barbossa, who everyone thought had died at the end of the first film. This admittedly somewhat convoluted plot – and I left a lot of stuff out – is supported by excellent action sequences, both at sea and on land. The three-way sword fight amongst Jack, Will, and Norrington, especially, is surely one of the best swashbuckling sequences in cinematic history, right up there with Inigo and Wesley’s duel in The Princess Bride, and far exceeding anything Zorro ever did, at least while being played by Antonio Banderas. Ragetti and Pintel are their usual scruffy comic-relief selves, and the special effects – especially in the Kraken sequences – are nearly flawless. Even the aforementioned crewmen of the Flying Dutchman manage to be tragic and menacing rather than ridiculous. In-jokes referencing the first film abound, usually involving either the “why-is-the-rum-gone” scene, or the dog with the keys in its mouth, which itself is one of the more overt references to the theme park ride (In a case of art coming full circle, rumors are that the American park rides will or have been redesigned to include characters from the films. Now, that’s what you call ironic.). All things considered, Dead Man’s Chest is definitely one of the better movies of the summer, and worth seeing at least once.

Prologue

Hello, and thank you for coming to this blog of mine. In it, my intention is to present my thoughts on assorted movies, books, music, and possibly other things. I hope that my efforts will be both informative and amusing, so please, read on.